You Are Not Always Right

This post isn't necessarily to do with writing. Although, in order to be a good writer I think you really do need to embrace this attitude. I think you need to truly know this, in your bones, your soul, whatever. You are not always right.

I want to focus in on the "always" part of that statement, because I truly believe that most people are sometimes right, or even often right, particularly when it concerns their own writing, or their own worldview. They may not be choosing the view that is right for everyone, but they are choosing the view that is right for them (understanding that there are viewpoints other than your own, on a way of writing, a text, a social issue, that are just as valid and reasoned is a whole separate issue, but seriously people need to chill out a bit. An opinion is an opinion, nothing more. Perhaps a post for another day).

But sometimes, just sometimes, I personally get this little niggling feeling, usually in response to something that someone has said about my work, or about the way I'm living my life (although these kinds of comments can be incredibly annoying, even if the assessments are correct), about a certain view or opinion that I hold. It's usually a bit of a wake up call, and one that leads to me re-examining my instincts. Which is a good thing. A really, really good thing.

Because that is what discourse is about. That's why we're constantly in dialogue with each other. To develop our selves, our opinions, our ways of being and thinking in the context of the stream of information passing around us.

So it disturbs me when people (and often people who profess to be trying to perpetuate discussion) are unable to acknowledge that they may just be wrong. That they are fallible and human. Sometimes, writers disturb me with their inability to see that headhopping might not be the best thing for their manuscript, or telling rather than showing the climactic action. Sometimes, the absolutism of internet discussion and the group think that stems from them also disturbs me (some of the responses to the WSJ debacle were along these lines in tone, for me. That's subjective. You may not agree, and that's fine).

This carries over into real life, too. It disturbs me when people can't see that their racism, classism, sexism, homophobia might not be the best attitude to hold.

Sometimes, just sometimes, you (and I) are wrong. And you've got to sacrifice your pride, and your apathy and whatever else is preventing you from admitting that you're wrong. You've got to examine whatever someone's said to trigger that reaction in you, whether it be a critique of your writing, an article that destabilises your worldview, a person who calls you out on your use of certain language, and use it to try and change yourself.

Because no, you are not always right. But that is perfectly okay.

Give yourself permission to be wrong.