Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Teaser!

I am so busy that I am blog-dead and doing little else but teasing. Soon, I'll be back properly to write real posts :) From CROSSROADS:

Ben stops at the end of the hill and points. In the corner of the Takochis’ garden is a swing set with red fairy lights twisted around it. Soft red light twines its way through metallic chains that attach the swings to their wooden frame.

It's an impressive sight.

“How the hell do they get the electricity up here?” I ask.

Ben shrugs. “The Takochis are geniuses. I’d be too stupid to do it.”

He picks his way over the grass, skipping around short bushes until he gets to the swing set. He plonks down onto one of the seats and the red light washes over his face. He looks like a stop sign, telling me right then and there to head back to that fucking party.

I ignore the paranoia – because I’m still like five hundred percent sure that he’s not going to kill me, and I can still hear the music from the house, which is a good sign that I’m within ‘screaming distance’ – and go join him.

I don’t know whether the swing really smells of cherries, or whether my mind’s just being tricked by the presence of the fairy lights. “Ken’s got a weird sense of decor,” I mutter, as I sit down on the swing. Scuff my shoes through the gravel at its base.

Rough stones. Pressing against my shoes. Pressing against my skin.

16 comments:

  1. Oh, Vee!
    'He looks like a stop sign, telling me right then and there to head back to that fucking party' - gorgeous!

    This is effing awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, I love this. It's my favorite I've read today. Nice voice/details etc.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is awesome. The voice is amazing in this. <33

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are such an amazing writer. I can't say there's one line that really popped out at me - but that's because this WHOLE THING pops out at me. The atmosphere, the characters, the voice, all of it :) Love your description of the fairy lights! <3

    ReplyDelete
  5. Simply lovely. Your MC's voice is very engaging.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the idea of the lights - why is it so hard to get electricity up there? This is kind of dystopian, right? And why would she even be wondering if he's going to kill her?

    Love this, Ink! More more more!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Those fairy lights are so cool! And I love how you used the word "plonk" - amazing :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. love this! you have such a beautiful...almost fluid style of writing. cant wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Beautiful as always, Vee =D My favorite bit is:

    "He plonks down onto one of the seats and the red light washes over his face. He looks like a stop sign, telling me right then and there to head back to that fucking party."

    ReplyDelete
  10. Mmm, wonderful. I love the sense of the color you get here.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yeah, I love your writing. Duh. Seriously, it doesn't matter what the excerpt is from or what the context of it is, I'm always so drawn in to your scenes. This one was incredible. Love the voice. Love the 500% sure he's not going to kill me bit. Love the descriptions. Really, I just love it all :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. So, I sort of love your writing. Like, love love. :) The prose and tension are amazing and subtle, and the image of the red lights throughout the whole scene even when you only mention them like, three times. And the voice. Maaan. <3

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love this. Good mix of description (details like maybe smelling cherries, but maybe not) and intrigue (needing to be within screaming distance) and dialogue

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow, great teaser. I love the red fairy lights, and the characters are very believable.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Broken record: I'm so in love with your voice and everything you write reads like poetry. Loveeee it <3333

    ReplyDelete
  16. I enjoyed the pretty sure he's not going to kill me part. Strong voice!

    ReplyDelete