Monday, August 16, 2010


I haven't done one of these in a while and I've missed it, so I'm posting one again! Remember to enter my Hundred Followers Contest which closes on the 20th.

Now for the tease! :D


Someone burned down the scouts’ clubhouse last night and now the entire town smells like toast.

I walk down the sidewalk, breathing in the charred air on my way to school. It’s only seven o’clock, but this is Hunter – everyone here wakes up ridiculously early, must be something in the water – so people potter around watering their already blooming gardens, early morning dew drizzling their shoulders.

Sleep rests in the corners of their bleary eyes, and Monday mornings are like that, I guess. But Mrs. Summerfelt’s laugh lines aren’t etched into their usual position, and Mr. Crayburn isn’t wearing his red hunting hat.

The scouts’ hall burning down in and of itself wouldn’t be that scary, but it wasn’t the first building to go.

I pick up a stick and trail the deadened wood over the pavement. It clacks into the gaps and crevices where I refuse to let my red converse sneakers fall. Dirt trails over the pavement behind me in a straight line. Dark. Almost the same colour as the smoke that’s come from the buildings.

The first building to go was the tennis court clubhouse.

Then there was the ladies’ bathrooms by the field next to the local pool.

A couple nights ago I met up with my best friend Leah to get ice cream. As I walked home, the post boxes were orange, flared torches in the dark.

The entire town of Hunter’s been smelling like toast for a while now.

Leah's waiting for me at the top of my street, so we can walk together as always. Her nose is wrinkled and instead of saying good morning like a sane person, she says, “Club house burns down and my parents automatically think that the arsonist’s targeting the children. God. How come no one said they were targeting the letters when they got the post boxes?”

Seven o’clock is way too early for eye rolling, so I answer as sincerely as possible. “Post boxes are expendable, children are not.”


  1. oooooohh!

    I like your sentences muchly. This snip has got a different (in a cool way) pace than usual.


  2. Oh, I like your pretty new layout :) And I'm intrigued by the teaser. Is this another new wip or a snippet from something you've posted before?

    The last sentence is one of those stick-in-your-head kinda sentences, which I love :D

  3. Nice new layout! :)

    Love this and IA with choco, this has a different vibe from your usual stuff. Love the descriptions as well!

  4. Wow.

    You are going to become a bestseller, Vee. This was amazing and I agree with Kat, that last sentence is going to be stuck in my head for a long time. It's so profound, and it gives the reader a glimpse of your MC's character.

    LOVE IT.

  5. Aww, thanks guys!

    @Kat, it's one of the old WIPs conceptually. But with new POV characters and a semi-different plot :D

  6. This is amazing, Vee. I never expect less of you. Ever. Wow, I'm just blown away. Love it!

  7. I like this teaser; it flowed nicely and I love the first and last lines. :)

  8. Love the juxtaposition of "toast" which sounds funny and vivid, and the serious nature of what's happening. Says a lot about your narrator.

  9. Loving it. The description of the toast smell brings back memories of when a famous restaurant near our house burned down when I was a kid. This was so well written, it really took me back. Is this from the same WIP you posted recently on AW? Awesome tease as usual. :)

  10. This is truly amazing. I honestly have nothing else to add. This is just amazing.


  11. I love this so much. I was drawn into the scene completely after the first sentence, and I never lost interest. Your writing is just so clear yet layered...much more eloquent than I am now :P Beautiful stuff, as always.

  12. Fantastic! The smell of toast is wonderfully original and puts me right there. Nice tease.

  13. Ooooh, wow. I wonder who's burning things down, and why?

    Also, is Mr. Crayburn's red hunting hat supposed to make you think of Holden Caulfield? Because that's immediately what I think of.

    Nice tease!

  14. I love this line: "It clacks into the gaps and crevices where I refuse to let my red converse sneakers fall." Says so much about the character :)

  15. I like this! It sets up some intrigue without waving big flags with the word PLOT written on them in front of the reader's face, which is the best way of doing it.

  16. As I walked home, the post boxes were orange, flared torches in the dark.

    Love this image ♥ You're sort of awesome at setting atmosphere.

  17. @Angie, yes it is the WIP I posted on AW a while back. But I've mashed it together with another one, so that it actually has a plot :)

    @Caitlin, yes totally meant to make you think of Holden Caulfield! Yay Catcher :D